Week In Sloth: “Sex Box,” “Good Witch” And “You Can’t Lick Your Elbow”

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Thursday 26

“The Victoria’s Secret Swim Special” (KRQE-13 9pm) Victoria’s Secret models show off the company’s new swimwear campaign. Maroon 5 performs. Way to kill the mood CBS.

Friday 27

“House of Cards” (Netflix anytime) All of season 3 is available today. Now we’ll finally get to see what devious, murdering, backstabbing, bisexual Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) will do as President of the United States. Balance the budget, maybe?

“Sex Box” (WE 11pm) In WE’s new “extreme therapy” reality show, couples discuss their relationship with a panel of three “sexperts” before climbing into a soundproofed box on stage and having sex. … No, really. … No, really.

Saturday 28

“Good Witch” (Hallmark 7pm) After seven movies, Hallmark goes ahead and makes this supernatural romance about a small-town witch (Catherine Bell) a weekly series.

“Shania: Still the One Live From Vegas” (KOAT-7 8pm) Remember when Shania Twain was a thing? Turns out she’s alive and well and performing on the Vegas Strip. This concert special serves as proof of life.

“2 Fat 2 Fly” (OWN 8pm) A reality show about obese flight attendants? Nice try. It’s a reality show about a food truck that serves chicken wings.

Sunday 1

“The Last Man on Earth” (KASA-2 8pm) “Saturday Night Live” alum Will Forte is the creator, writer and star of this dark comedy about an ordinary man who wakes up one day to find that a virus has wiped out all of humanity, leaving him as the titular dude. Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (the guys behind The Lego Movie) direct this pilot episode.

“Secrets & Lies” (KOAT-7 8pm) Broadcast TV continues to try to prove to us it can do the sort of short-form, star-driven storytelling that pay cable does so well. Like most previous attempts, this is just a remake of a foreign (Australian, in this case) TV show. Ryan Phillippe stars as a family man who discovers the body of a young boy and quickly becomes the prime suspect. Juliette Lewis is the detective hounding him.

“Battle Creek” (KRQE-13 9pm) Transformers star and Fergie spouse Josh Duhamel partners with Dean Winters (Dennis Duffy on “30 Rock”) as a couple of mismatched police detective partners. (Is there any other kind?)

Monday 2

“You Can’t Lick Your Elbow” (National Geographic 8pm) Looking for some “body hacks” to unlock hidden skills, master your body’s responses or just freak out your friends? NatGeo has got the biological data for you.

Tuesday 3

“Born in the Wild” (Lifetime 8pm) Desperate to find something in Alaska to take advantage of those sweet state tax breaks, Lifetime settles on this show, which will “follow expectant women as they give birth completely unassisted in an outdoor location.” … OK, then.

Wednesday 4

“CSI: Cyber” (KRQE-13 9pm) CBS’ various “CSI” shows are already some of the most far-fetched police procedurals in existence. But how can they be made even more unrealistic? By introducing all sorts of magical computer elements.
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