Week In Sloth: Susan Sarandon Goes “30 Rock,” Jennifer Lopez Judges Singers, Bruce Lee Gets Some Love

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 1

“30 Rock” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Frank (Judah Friedlander) has an affair with Susan Sarandon. Sure he does.

Friday 2

“The Break” (MTV 9 p.m.) The lives of three homeless teenagers are profiled in MTV’s newest docu-reality series. … Hey, you might not have a home, but at least you have your own TV series. Welcome to 21 st -century America!

Saturday 3

Blue-Eyed Butcher (Lifetime 6 p.m.) Lifetime’s latest attempt to convince you that you’ve probably married a serial killer.

“Q’Viva! The Chosen” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Otherwise known as “We Give Jennifer Lopez Her Own Version of American Idol.”

We’ll Take Manhattan (Ovation 6 p.m.) Arts channel Ovation premieres its first made-for-TV movie. In it, iconic ’60s supermodel Jean Shrimpton falls in love with photographer David Bailey. I’m no high-fashion socialite, so I’ve never heard of these people. But Karen Gillan (Amy Pond from “Doctor Who”) does star as Shrimpton, so the nerd in me is at least intrigued.

Sunday 4

“The Kandi Factory” (Bravo 8 p.m.) For a minute there, I thought they had discovered a new Kardashian to exploit. But no. It’s just one of those “Real Housewives” trying to launch a music career with a docu-reality show.

“Million Dollar Moon Rock Heist” (National Geographic 7 p.m.) If you’re gonna steal something, you might as well steal something that’s at least gonna land you a TV special at some point.

“GCB” (KOAT-7 9:01 p.m.) Obviously ABC didn’t have the guts to actually call this “Desperate Housewives”-esque soap “Good Christian Bitches” like the book it’s modeled after.

“Stevie TV” (VH1 9 p.m.) A new pop-culture-satirizing show headlined by YouTube star Stevie Ryan. … Wait. There’s such a thing as a “YouTube star” now?

Monday 5

“Love Broker” (Bravo 8 p.m.) What is it with rich people’s inability to get dates on their own?

“Are You Good or Evil?” (Science 8 p.m.) Science finally gets around to explaining why some of us are Jedi and some of us are Sith.

Tuesday 6

“Prank My Mom” (Lifetime 8 p.m.) Or don’t. In fact, don’t .

“Demi Lovato: Stay Strong” (MTV 11 p.m.) Singer-songwriter and actress Demi Lovato gives a firsthand account of the breakdown that led to her rehabilitation … or at least the version that her publicist approved.

“Decision 2012” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Give it to us straight, NBC. Are we stuck with Mitt Romney? It’s Mitt, isn’t it?

Wednesday 7

I Am Bruce Lee (Spike 7 p.m.) Martial artists, athletes, actors, directors and producers discuss the legacy of Bruce Lee in this two-hour documentary.

“Machines of Glory” (Discovery 8 p.m.) This testosterone-laden competition pits three crews of heavy machine operators against one another. Wanna know who America’s best skid steer operator is? This is the show for you.

“My Crazy Obsession” (TLC 8 p.m.) What, “My Strange Addiction” wasn’t enough for you people?
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