Week In Sloth: The Blue Lagoon Returns, Piranhaconda Lives And Bristol Palin Gets A Tv Show

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 14

“Burn Notice” (USA 7 p.m.) John C. McGinley (“Scrubs”) joins the cast, making this—officially—the manliest show on TV.

The Other F Word (Showtime 7 p.m.) What happens when punk rockers like the dudes in Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blink-182, Rise Against and Pennywise become parents? Find out in this cutely anarchistic documentary.

Friday 15

“Countdown to Niagara: The Greatest Megastunts of All Time” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Back in the ’70s Evel Knievel used to get on TV every few months and do something insane like jump over the Snake River Canyon in a jet cycle. (Hey, it didn’t work, but at least we got a cool toy out of it.) Nowadays, people just hit each other in the nuts and post it on YouTube. That’s hardly the same. So it’s encouraging to see a prime-time special about “the greatest megastunts of all time” culminating in daredevil Nik Wallenda walking over Niagara Falls on a high wire.

“Randy to the Rescue” (TLC 8 p.m.) Calm down, mudslide victims, he’s only “rescuing” women who need fashion advice.

Let It Shine (Disney 9 p.m.) Can’t kids in inspirational Disney Channel movies do anything other than sing?

Saturday 16

Blue Lagoon: The Awakening (Lifetime 6 p.m.) Hollywood’s favorite kiddie porn series gets a Lifetime Channel remake. Christopher Atkins (from the 1980 original) even makes a cameo!

Operation Cupcake (Hallmark 6 p.m.) On leave from the U.S. Army, hubby Dean Cain helps wife Kristy Swanson run her bakery. Huh, that doesn’t sound like a Hallmark Channel movie at all .

Piranhaconda (Syfy 7 p.m.) Not so much a movie as a test to make sure Syfy Channel’s patented Word Blender is still working.

Sunday 17

“2012 MuchMusic Video Awards” (Fuse 7 p.m.) The Canadian equivalent of the MTV Video Music Awards: cleaner and with more Europeans.

“Falling Skies” (TNT 7 p.m.) The second season of TNT’s Dr.-Carter-fights space-aliens series launches.

Monday 18

“Dance Academy” (TeenNick 6 p.m.) Bam! I called it! Ballet is TV’s new hotness. Check out this, The CW’s “Breaking Pointe” and ABC Family’s “Bunheads.”

“The Glass House” (KOAT-7 9:02 p.m.) CBS filed a restraining order to prevent ABC from airing this show because it’s just a rip-off of “Big Brother.” … Are you sure you want to open that can of worms, CBS? There are multiple shows about hillbilly handfishing on TV, for crying out loud!

Tuesday 19

“Discovering Lennon” (BBC America 7 p.m.) Who is this “John Lennon” you speak of?

“Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp” (Lifetime 8 p.m.) No. No, no, no, no, no. Enn. Ohh. No.

Wednesday 20

“School Spirits” (Syfy 8 p.m.) This new paranormal show promises “bone-chilling cinematic reenactments” of real-life ghost stories told by students, teachers, parents and staff of schools, universities and assorted academies across America. None of whom were drunk at the time. At all.

“Futurama” (Comedy Central 11 p.m.) Bender fathers a child with the office soda machine in the one-hour seventh season premiere.
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