Week In Sloth: The Prince Of Wales, America’s Cutest Dog, “The Futurama Holiday Spectacular,” “Bacon Paradise”

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 18

“Pawn Queens” (TLC 8 p.m.) Good lord, TV. Your laziness is appalling these days. Changing one measly word on the title of an already established reality show does not a clever new series make.

Friday 19

“Harmony” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) The Prince of Wales (Charlie to you and me) is apparently a righteous, charity-driven guy who’s now dedicated his life to helping the environment and finding solutions to global climate change. This hour-long special is HRH’s call to arms, offering viewers a perspective on how to meet these modern challenges globally, locally and personally.

“Dennis Miller: The Big Speech” (HBO 8 p.m.) Overly-literate-comedian-turned-conservative-gasbag Dennis Miller tries to be funny while ragging on illegal immigrants in his first stand-up special in many a moon. … I’d like to take this moment to point out the fact that, back in the early ’80s, Miller lost out to Sinbad on “Star Search.” Freaking Sinbad .

Saturday 20

“The Night Before the Night Before Christmas” (Hallmark 6 p.m.) According to my calendar, it’s five days before Thanksgiving, Hallmark.

“America’s Cutest Dog 2010” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) Turnabout is fair play. Last week its was “America’s Cutest Cat 2010.”

Sunday 21

“2010 American Music Awards” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) If you’re not interested in tunes from today’s bubble-gum artists (Ke$ha, Katy Perry, Justin Bieber), stick around for tunes from yesterday’s bubble-gum artists (New Kids on the Block, the Backstreet Boys).

“Brew Masters” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Travel around the world and sample craft beers for a living? Where do I sign up?

“The Futurama Holiday Spectacular” (Comedy Central 11 p.m.) The Planet Express crew learns the true meaning of Xmas. And Kwanzaa. Also Robanukah.

“Top Gear” History 8 p.m.) History Channel makes a run at Americanizing the long-running, tongue-in-cheek, speed-obsessed automotive series from England.

“The Venture Bros.” (Cartoon Network 12:30 a.m.) CN’s spoofy sci-fi/superhero series closes out its latest season by sending our terminally adolescent siblings to prom.

Monday 22

“Skating With the Stars” (KOAT-7 8:11 p.m.) I was kinda hoping we were over this as a society. Tonight’s 109-minute season premiere argues otherwise.

Tuesday 23

“Glee” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Comedy legend Carol Burnett drops by as Sue’s (Jane Lynch) mother.

“Inside the Body of Henry VIII” (National Geographic 7 p.m.) Um. Ew.

Wednesday 24

Firebreather (Cartoon Network 8 p.m.) The popular Image comic by Albuquerque artist Andy Kuhn comes to life as a CGI-animated feature. In it, a high school kid learns his dad was a dragon and inherits his fire-spewing superpowers. If the movie does well, CN will probably turn it into a series. So watch. Andy could use the dough.

“Kung Fu Panda Holiday Special” (KOB-4 7:30 p.m.) I guess there’s no point in pointing out that they don’t celebrate Christmas in China. Also, no kung-fu-fighting pandas.

“Bacon Paradise” (Travel Channel 8 p.m.) If this is true, both the Quran and the Torah have made a rather tragic mistake.
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