Week In Sloth: Voltron Returns, Miss Usa Gets Crowned, More Cake Decorating Shows Debut

The Week In Sloth

Devin D. O'Leary
3 min read
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Thursday 16

“Voltron Force” (Nicktoons 6:30 p.m.) The popular ’80s anime gets rebooted for a new generation.

The Truth Below (MTV 11 p.m.) In this made-for-TV horror thriller, four spring-breakers get trapped by an avalanche and spend their time confessing dark secrets that threaten their very survival. … Next time, try “I Spy.”

Friday 17

“Flea Man” (National Geographic 7 p.m.) Honestly, TV, “guy who buys stuff at flea markets” isn’t that different than “guy who buys stuff at storage auctions,” which isn’t that different than “guy who buys stuff at pawn shop.”

“Paranormal Challenge” (Travel 7 p.m.) What would happen if somebody turned all those pointless ghost-hunter shows into a boys vs. girls game show? Now we know.

Saturday 18

“Outcasts” (BBC America 7 p.m.) In the near future, human colonists with British accents try to survive on an alien planet after fleeing war-ravaged Earth.

Sunday 19

“2011 Miss USA Pageant” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Damn. If Donald Trump hadn’t dropped out of the presidential race, we might have been able to live in a world where the president of the United States hosts the Miss USA Pageant—which he owns—live from his eponymous New Jersey casino.

“William & Kate: Royal Baby Watch?” (TLC 7 p.m.) Seriously? An hour-long program wondering when Kate is gonna get pregnant? Get a life, people.

“AFI Lifetime Achievement Award Honoring Morgan Freeman” (TV Land 7 p.m.) Clint Eastwood, Sidney Poitier, Mike Nichols, Helen Mirren and Rita Moreno show up to pay tribute. The only way this evening could be any classier is if Freeman narrated the show himself.

“Ryan & Tatum: The O’Neals” (OWN 8 p.m.) What took so long for the notoriously screwed-up O’Neal family to land a reality show?

Monday 20

Sex Crimes Unit (HBO 7 p.m.) This documentary feature is like “Law & Order: SVU,” only with less Ice-T.

Tuesday 21

“101 Ways to Leave a Game Show” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) There’s only one gimmick at work in this new game show. Losers get booted by countless wacky means: rocket ships, exploding dynamite, cannons, low ratings.

“Storage Hunters” (truTV 8 p.m.) Good Lord, TV. You are not listening. Combing the titles of “Storage Wars” and “Auction Hunters” to create yet another show about people buying abandoned storage lockers does not give you an original series.

“Nail Files” (TV Guide 8 p.m.) And while we do not, specifically, have a reality show about a nail salon, the subject leaves a lot to be desired.

“Combat Hospital” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) Reality show about a NATO hospital in Kandahar? Don’t have one of those. You can stay.

“Staten Island Cakes” (WE 10 p.m.) Agh! Are you trying to kill me, TV? We’ve got, like, 30 reality shows about cake decorating already. No … more … redundant … reality shows!

Wednesday 22

“Life on a Wire” (Discovery 8 p.m.) This docu-reality series profiles Nik Wallenda, a seventh-generation aerialist from the famed “Flying Wallendas” family—making him something of a rarity in the reality show world. Namely, interesting.
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