Week In Sloth: Warriors Of The “Great Lakes” And “American Ninja” Variety

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 19

“Great Lakes Warriors” (History 8 p.m.) History Channel manages to mix the boat-related drama of “Deadliest Catch” with the non-fish-related drama of “Ice Road Truckers” while still maintaining the same frigid, blue-collar working conditions in its newest docu-reality series. This one’s about tug boat operators on the Great Lakes.

“Misfits” (Logo 11 p.m.) Logo went to England and brought us back this BAFTA-winning cult sci-fi series about a group of teenage superheroes. Think the X-Men, but with more sex.

Friday 20

“Portlandia: The Brunch Special” (IFC 9 p.m.) It’s not precisely a new episode of “Portlandia,” but it is an extended director’s cut of the Season 2 finale. This special also includes a never-before-seen “making of” documentary showing what goes into producing a typical half-hour of IFC’s hit sketch comedy sitcom.

Near Dark (TCM 12 a.m.) Forget all of today’s wussy, emotionally tortured, faux romantic tweenage vampires. Head back to 1987 and rewatch this gritty horror flick directed by Kathryn Bigalow ( Point Break, The Hurt Locker ) about a “family” of shit-kicking rural bloodsuckers led by mean-ass Lance Henriksen.

Saturday 21

“30 Greatest NBC Olympic Moments” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Like that time we had our Team USA outfits manufactured in China?

Bouquet of Barbed Wire (Ovation 8 p.m.) Ovation has done a fine job lately of importing British miniseries—like this risqué psychodrama about an overprotective father and his manipulative daughter. It stars the lovely, if unfortunately named, Imogene Poots ( 28 Weeks Later, Fright Night ).

“Rove LA” (TV Guide 8 p.m.) I’ve never heard of Rove McManus before. (Apparently, he’s an Australian comedian and television personality—you know, like Yahoo Serious.) I’m guessing you haven’t heard of him either. But if you want to see him interview Hollywood stars like Kathy Griffin, here’s your chance.

Sunday 22

“Teen Choice 2012” (FOX 7 p.m.) Carly Rae Jepsen, Demi Lovato and Justin Bieber perform. See, this is why people under 18 don’t get to vote for president.

Monday 23

“American Ninja Warrior” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) NBC broadcasts the finals of G4’s “American Ninja Warrior” challenge in Las Vegas. I’m worn out just thinking about it.

Tuesday 24

“The Godfather Legacy” (History 7 p.m.) Historians, scholars, law enforcement officers and real-life Mafiosi explain how The Godfather impacted popular culture. After that, it was all tuxedos and Nino Rota albums.

Wednesday 25

“The CLIOs: World’s Best Commercials” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Hardcore “Mad Men” fanatics will have a field day with this selection of winners from the annual advertising industry awards. You’ll get to see minivan commercials from Finland. That will be a change of pace from your usual Wednesday evening, when all you get to see are boring old minivan commercials from America.

“WakeBrothers” (MTV 12 a.m.) Professional wakeboarders Phil and Bob Soven get their own reality show. … In other shocking news, there’s such a thing as “professional wakeboarders.”
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