Week In Sloth: “Wipeout” Decks The Balls, Video Games Get Awarded And Stephen King Delivers A Bag Of Bones

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 8

“Winter Wipeout: Deck the Balls” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) ABC’s stunt-and-splat-filled game show / obstacle course returns for a one-hour special filled with plenty of Christmas-themed puns.

“America’s Funniest Home Videos: Christmas Spectacular” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Not to be outdone, “AFV” offers its own one-hour holiday special featuring people tripping over Christmas trees and getting hit in the crotch by … reindeer, I guess.

“The Great Big American Auction” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) ABC finally catches up with every other network on the dial by producing a reality show about buying and selling people’s old crap.

Friday 9

“Invention USA” (History 8 p.m.) Tech experts Garrett Lisi and Reichart Von Wolfsheild ( awesome name!) travel across the country looking for the next great inventor.

Ganja & Hess (TCM 12 a.m.) Duane Jones (the original Night of the Living Dead ) stars in this obscure (and surprisingly arty) all-black vampire flick from 1973.

Saturday 10

“2011 Video Game Awards ” (Spike 6 p.m.) Tonight, The Legend of Zelda becomes Spike’s first inductee into the Video Game Hall of Fame. Tomorrow, Link and Zelda get photographed by TMZ doing the walk of shame out of the Chateau Marmont.

Annie Claus Is Coming to Town (Hallmark 6 p.m.) Really, Hallmark? Is that the best you can do? A rom-com starring Santa’s daughter?

Snowmageddon (Syfy 7 p.m.) See here, Hallmark. This is how you make a holiday movie: Evil snow globe destroys the world!

“The American Giving Awards” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Bob Costas gives out awards for … you know, giving.

“Extreme Christmas Trees” (TLC 7 p.m.) What, like on fire? That’s pretty extreme.

Sunday 11

12 Dates of Christmas (ABC Family 6 p.m.) So … Groundhog Day , but with Christmas Eve instead.

Stephen King’s Bag of Bones (A&E 7 p.m.) I haven’t read a Stephen King novel in decades, so I have no idea what this miniseries is about. But I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s about a horror novelist living in a small town in Maine and confronting some supernatural evil from his past.

“Luck” (HBO 8 p.m.) Director Michael Mann ( Heat, Ali, The Insider ) and writer David Milch (“Deadwood”) combine forces for this provocative drama about the world of professional horse racing.

Monday 12

“Fear Factor” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) After five years off the air, ABC’s eating-cockroaches-and-crashing-cars game show returns to prime time. Apparently Joe Rogan found a genie lamp.

Tuesday 13

“William & Kate: Inside the Royal Marriage” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Really? I thought we, as a nation, recovered from that bad case of Anglophilia we had earlier this year.

Wednesday 14

“Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011” (KOAT-7 8:30 p.m.) You know what? I’m not even gonna argue about Katy Perry or Pippa Middleton or Donald Trump or Simon Cowell. I’m just glad Kim Kardashian isn’t … What? The entire Kardashian family ? Barbara is now grossly misusing the word “fascinating.”

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