Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 21

“True Curse of the Mummy” (TLC 7 p.m.) Turns out most of the people who died mysterious deaths after opening mummy tombs in Egypt croaked from inhaling toxic mold. … Yeah, its just not as scary.

Friday 22

“Genius: A Night for Ray Charles” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) No disrespect intended, but Ray's career really seems to be taking off now that he's dead. First, there's this hour-long tribute featuring Mary J. Blige, Al Green, Elton John, B.B. King and Stevie Wonder. Then, there's the feature film biopic starring Jamie Foxx–who, coincidentally is hosting tonight's shindig.

Saturday 23

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (KWBQ-19 7 p.m.) In retrospect, I've come to realize that Ferris is a self-centered little fascist. But his movie is still damn funny.

Sunday 24

The Hollow (ABC Family 6 p.m.) Nick Carter, Stacy Keach and Judge Reinhold star in this seasonal fright flick. Seems that Ichabod Crane's descendants have revived the spirit of the Headless Horseman in infamous Sleepy Hollow. … Now why would they do a damn fool thing like that?

The Dead Will Tell (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) A young woman (Anne Heche) starts to receive mysterious images from the deceased owner of her antique engagement ring. Is she psychic or just nuts? … Well, it is Anne Heche we're talking about here.

“20: Entertainment Weekly's Scariest Movies” (AMC 8 p.m.) EW counts down the 20 scariest movies of all time.

Monday 25

“The Swan 2” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Speaking of scary: I can't believe they brought this reprehensible plastic surgery/beauty pageant show back. That's what you people get for encouraging the network executives.

“2004 Radio Music Awards” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) From the people who brought you the payola scam comes the lifetime achievement award for Janet Jackson. Like we need another reason to hate commercial radio.

Tuesday 26

“It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Halloween is officially here, folks. The season doesn't start until the mall puts up Christmas decorations and somebody airs “It's the G.P., C.B.”

“How They Won” (History, 7 p.m.) “Daily Show” correspondent Mo Rocca hosts this irreverent look at the seven secrets to winning the presidency.

“You've Got a Friend” (MTV 10:30 p.m.) In MTV's newest excuse for a reality show, people win $15,000 if they can pass off some loudmouthed jerk as their best friend for two days. It's like “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé,” but with one word slightly altered.

Wednesday 27

“Drawn Together” (Comedy Central 11:30 p.m.) This new series, described as the world's first “animated reality show,” strands a bunch of cartoon archetypes in a house to see how they get along (or not). There's the “Superman”-type, the Japanese anime hero, the Disney-style princess, the horny talking pig and more. See if you can guess who's gay!

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