Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
5 min read
Dateline: Egypt— Because of the social-network-fueled uprising in Egypt, a father has named his firstborn daughter “Facebook.” Jamal Ibrahim, who is in his twenties, was inspired by the “We are all Khaled Said” Facebook page started by Google exec Wael Ghonim. The page gets its name from a protester killed in June 2010, and it served as a rallying point for angry Egyptian citizens who rose up and overthrew the regime of now former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak. A report in Egypt’s Al-Ahram newspaper said friends, family and neighbors descended on the Ibrahimya region home of baby Facebook to shower her with gifts and to “express their continuing support for the revolution that started with Facebook.” Presumably, they’re referencing the website, not the baby. Dateline: Romania— A fugitive con man, on the run since 2001, was found hiding in plain sight—as the host of a local TV show. Viorel Plescan, 35, managed to escape capture on check-fraud charges a decade ago in the Moldavian city of Galati. After getting married abroad and adopting his wife’s name, the newly christened Viorel Andrei returned to the Romanian town of Piatra-Neamt, 150 miles away from Galati. He was arrested for a minor traffic offense earlier this year, which is when police discovered his real name. They also realized he was working as the anchor of a prime-time television show. Plescan must now serve eight years in jail on the original conviction he got in 2001. Dateline: Florida— An inmate at Sarasota County Jail faces a buttload of charges after jailers found 30 items hidden in his rectum. According to the Herald-Tribune, 33-year-old Neil Lansing went to court on Friday, Feb. 11, and was sent to jail by a judge. There, corrections deputies conducting a routine search found part of a condom sticking out of Lansing’s rear end. “According to sheriff’s officials, the condom contained: 17 round blue pills, one cigarette, six matches, one flint, one empty syringe with an eraser over the needle, one lip balm container, one additional unused condom, a receipt from CVS pharmacy and a paper coupon.” Clearly Lansing was expecting to go to jail when he showed up in court on Friday and had packed for the occasion. No word on what the coupon was good for. Lansing now faces charges of drug and tobacco possession. He is being held without bail. Dateline: Florida— A 31-year-old woman in Collier County was arrested after allegedly beating her roommate over a box of Girl Scout cookies. Thin Mints, to be precise. According to police reports, Hersha C. Howard came into her roommate’s bedroom while she was sleeping and accused her of eating her Thin Mints. The woman said she had given the cookies to Howard’s children, who were up and hungry at 1 a.m. That apparently didn’t placate Howard. The woman then offered to pay Howard $10 for the cookies, but the report said Howard refused and the two began to argue. The argument became physical and the woman’s husband was forced to pull Howard off of his wife. Howard then left the room and returned with a pair of scissors and started chasing her roommate down the stairs. The report says Howard dropped the scissors but picked up a board and started beating her roommate. She is now charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Dateline: Missouri— Two bumbling robbers attempted to steal money from a Kansas City gun store, but they ended up fleeing with less money than they walked in with. The Kansas City Star reports that one of the would-be robbers entered the store at around 2 p.m. on Thursday, Feb. 17, and asked for a box of ammunition. When the 65-year-old clerk told the man it would be $50, the man said he needed more money and left. The man returned around 5 p.m. with another man and tried to pay with two $20 bills. The clerk informed the man that he was still $10 short. At that point, the customer pulled a handgun from his waistband and demanded that the clerk hand over the money in the store’s cash register. Unfortunately, having failed to purchase ammunition, the robber’s gun was empty—a fact that was obvious to the gun store clerk. Unmotivated by the bulletless gun being waved in his face, the clerk calmly pulled a handgun from the plainly visible shoulder holster he was wearing. “His eyes got as big as two dinner plates,” the clerk, who was not named, told the newspaper. “Before I got mine pointed at him, he ran to the door at, like, 95 mph. I’m surprised he didn’t bust the glass out of the door.” The failed robber also left behind the two $20 bills he was trying to use to purchase ammunition.