Thanks For The Jewel Case

Michael Henningsen
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3 min read
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Apparently, God has a record deal. Israeli Hewbrew teacher Uri Harel has taken a page from Michael Drosnin's book, The Bible Codes, and come up with a formula by which he assigns each of the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet to a musical note, then “composes” boring classical-based pieces of music to select Psalms and chapters of Exodus supposedly according to the naturally occuring patterns of letters in the Hebrew Bible. If the result is what music sounds like in Heaven, I'd rather burn in Hell. Thanks for the jewel case.

”Sweetback” ”Stage

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Man, I love Sade, but I couldn't hate this album—by members of Sade's band, calling themselves Sweetback—any more than I do. The real shame here is that Sweetback's 1996 debut effort was a swank, groovalicious instrumental R&B record of the highest order, replete with Paul S. Denman's inventive, hook-laden bass grooves and Stuart Matthewman's steamy guitar and sax work. Stage 2's grooves aren't half as smooth and the vocal tracks by Aya and Chocolate Genius sound horribly out of place. Shoulda left well enough alone. Thanks for the jewel case.

God Days of Majesty (Light of the Spirit)

Apparently, God has a record deal. Israeli Hebrew teacher Uri Harel has taken a page from Michael Drosnin's book, The Bible Codes, and come up with a formula by which he assigns each of the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet to a musical note, then “composes” boring classical-based pieces of music to select Psalms and chapters of Exodus supposedly according to the naturally occuring patterns of letters in the Hebrew Bible. If the result is what music sounds like in Heaven, I'd rather burn in Hell. Thanks for the jewel case.

The Electras The Electras (Rock and Roll Band)

In 1961, while attending high school, current Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry played bass in a Venture's sound-alike band called The Electras. And, like most high school bands then and now, The Electras sucked. Still, they were popular enough among schoolmates that they recorded and pressed 500 copies of the album that's reissued here. Collectors have bid upwards of $2,500 on eBay for original copies, but not because the album is at all listenable. Rumor says the band will reunite at a Kerry fundraiser. Think, John! Thanks for the jewel case.

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