I am an addict. I have an actual physical dependency on a recreational drug and if I miss it for so much as a day, my body goes into revolt. I suffer headaches, intense drowsiness and irritability. My wife won’t talk to me. My children avoid me.
Thank goodness, then, that we live in a country where this drug is legally available and caffeine-addicted people like me—some 83% of adult Americans according to a survey by the National Coffee Association—can pull into a dispensary and get our fix within minutes.
My current favorite spot to guzzle down some delicious drugs is Blunt Bros. Drive-Thru, a caffeine-dispensing window on the corner of Washington and Central, in the A-frame building that once housed Pinky’s Hot Dogs and La Hacienda Express before that. These days, the place has a new coat of paint and a brand new sign, though the drive-through speaker still doesn’t work. Instead, you’ve got to pull up to the window and talk to your dealer the old fashioned way. He’ll even turn down his tunes to hear you better.
Let’s be clear about something. This isn’t a Starbucks and if you’re expecting the kind of snappy service you get at the nation’s largest coffee chain, you’re going to be disappointed. Instead, expect a bit of small talk and then a wait while one of the Brothers (none of whom are named Blunt and some of whom might actually be Sisters) puts your order together. With just a little patience on your part, though, you’ll soon be treated to some excellent brew that will put the corporate stuff to shame.
My current favorite spot to guzzle down some delicious drugs is Blunt Bros. Drive-Thru, a caffeine-dispensing window on the corner of Washington and Central, in the A-frame building that once housed Pinky’s Hot Dogs and La Hacienda Express before that.
As the sign says, there are no drips allowed at Blunt Bros, and that extends to the coffee, most of which is an espresso drink of some sort or other. There’s a Magic mocha (the magic comes from Ghirardelli chocolate), a Chronic cappuccino (cappucino with a flavor shot) and a caffeinated sugar bomb called Corey’s Coo Coo Nut (a mocha with macadamia nut and coconut flavoring.) If you prefer your stimulants to arrive in more muted flavors, a variety of Fogs await your selection, including the classic London Fog, with Earl Grey tea and steamed milk with sugar, a Celtic Fog which subs Irish breakfast tea, and a Navajo Fog, which uses an herbal tea popular in the Nation which tastes a bit like wood but is probably really good for you.
There are some non-caffeinated options as well. My daughter has chosen Blunted hot chocolate, which is made with steamed milk and Ghirardelli, as her particular favorite, even when the outside temperature is bumping up into the 90s. My son prefers a strawberry-banana smoothie, made with real fruit, because he is a sugar fiend.
Of course, there’s always the option to take a bag of fresh roasted coffee home. The Brothers’ beans are heavy and earthy and a fine addition to your lineup of local java.
And the best part of all this? You don’t even need a doctor’s signature.