Alibi V.29 No.7 • Feb 13-19, 2020

Food Feature

Where the Valentines Are

We did the math so you don’t have to

Look at the date on your phone. Oh my God, it's probably Feb. 13, if you read the paper the day it hits stands. If not, that’s even more distressing. You forgot to make Valentine's Day plans again! You buffoon! It's the same day every year! We're gonna play a little game. We're going to assume that by the rules of capitalism, the V-Day date you plan is based on the equation of X + Y = Z, with X being time spent together, Y being how much you love the person, and Z being monetary value you have to expend. Here's an Idiot’s Guide to Last-Minute Valentines Plans.

Scenario 1: X=Less Than a Month, Y=You're Only Kind of Feeling It

You and your new partner have gotten this thing off the ground. With generic dates like coffee/drinks/Netflix and chill off the board, it's time to make or break it. Are you sure about the future you all have? Not at all and financially you're just not ready for that kind of commitment. Have no fear, Waffle House (13207 Central Ave. SE) is here. They've graciously said they'll be taking reservations for Valentine's Day, which means you can guarantee your night won't be derailed by a 12-top of theater kids (why aren't they at a Denny's!?) hoarding the table space so you and yours can get down on some Papa Joe's Porkchops. With a generous tip for the folks who serve you at your drunker moments, you can easily pull off a full dinner for under $30 and show your partner that truckstop love isn't just a gas station that sells swords, but something you can live.

Scenario 2: X=3 to 6 Months, Y=Recent Pregnancy Scare Clarified Some Things

It happens. Everyone has had that moment where maybe you thought things were going great, but then the idea of a child changed everything and all of a sudden, you weren't so sure. If you are part of a couple who has committed to a childless lifestyle or are unable to have a pregnancy scare for a multitude of reasons, substitute the more compassionate of the two of you finding a puppy and just bringing them inside and giving them a name. If you're still together by the end of it, you've got something worth exploring deeper. Let us suggest Brixens (400 Central Ave. SW.) With a mix of modern and traditional foods, a very extensive bar with a copious selection and gigantic windows that let you see all the exciting activity of downtown Albuquerque, it's the best way to show you care. A Friday night in Downtown is excitement all on its own, but with the fantastic food on the menu at Brixens, you can impress with a great meal and walk away (after generous tip!) with a great dinner under $60, guaranteeing you all weather the next few months happily.

Scenario 3: X=1 Year or More, Y=Both of Your Parents Keep Asking About Marriage

Ugh Mom, stop! We'll get there when we get there! Parents, am I right? You need a night to yourself, away from the judging eyes questioning why you haven't bought rings and made it legal with the state, for tax purposes and such. You march to the beat of your own drum, you know the tempo. This is a partner to impress! Perhaps you go the non-traditional route, with the Lobster Tail Burrito ($30) from a music club? No, absolutely not. Try Tucano's (110 Central Ave. SW) if a Brazilian grill with meat on swords is your fancy for a high-end yet sub-$100 (ahem, with tip!) dinner is on the menu for you. If not, try the recently renovated (and soon to be reviewed) Nob Hill Bar & Grill (3128 Central Ave. SE) which has taken the idea of your favorite place to the next level. No spoilers for the review, but needless to say, we give it a thumbs-up.

Scenario 4: X=You've Lost Track, Y=No Question, They're The Love Of Your Life

Awww, this one is cute. Sometimes, you sit on a Christmas bonus to wait for the right moment to show someone they mean everything to you. Let us offer what we'll call the ultimate package. Los Poblanos (4803 Rio Grande Blvd. NW) is offering an all-inclusive retreat, featuring accommodations for two at the Inn on Friday night, arrival champagne and an exclusive Lavender Lovers amenity upgrade. Additionally, there will be a four-course prix fixe Friday evening dinner for two at Campo with wine pairings, turndown treats from the Campo bakery and a choice of couple’s yoga or a farm tour on Saturday morning. There's a waitlist to get on this package ($655) but feel free to make a regular dinner reservation to enjoy their amazing food, and keep your fingers crossed that couple’s yoga is as fun as it sounds.