The Eggs, The Ham

Would You Eat Them From A Book?

Marisa Demarco
4 min read
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My pops shouts through the bathroom door and asks me what I want for breakfast as I take my morning bath. My 7-year-old, frothy, shampoo-covered head replies, "I don’t care! Green eggs and ham!" I emerge, towel dry, put on my school clothes and hit the kitchen.

On the table are emerald-green scrambled eggs, and a slice of ham, darkened with green food coloring. I am one of probably very few people to have tasted green eggs and ham. It tastes a lot like … eggs and ham, though my mouth and tongue were dyed green all day from the massive quantity of food coloring my dad used to achieve the effect.

In honor of that day and the release of the
Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook, here’s a verse I made up:

I would eat them in a race

I would eat them off your face

I would eat them with a czar

I would eat them Sam You Are

I promise to try and avoid future rhymes and phrases like, "Hoop-Soup-Snoop Group Potato Soup is loopy goop." But I’m not saying it’ll be easy.

On the contrary, half the fun of the
Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook is in recipe titles taken from Dr. Seuss stories—Zans Cans Chili, Fritz-Fed Fred Food Feast or River of Nobsk Corn Off the Cobsk. The other half is comprised of illustrations and photos, straight from your favorite books by the good doctor. The other, other half is the recipes themselves, twists on common favorites that are, for the most part, easy to prepare.

I do wonder, though, exactly who this book caters to. Young fans will probably find Who-Roast-Beast (a roasted chicken with mushrooms and sage) difficult to accomplish without a good deal of assistance. Adults might find the recipe for Daisy-Head Mayzie Burgers, complete with a ginger cookie stuck right in the bun, repellant. Author Georgeanne Brennan writes that each recipe was concocted with the goal that there should be components for kids to achieve with supervision. It’s likely geared toward the kind of parent who would think to dye their kids’ breakfast food in the first place. There should probably be more of those, anyway.

I like that the recipes here don’t call for anything you can’t find at a regular grocery store. Having to travel far and wide in search of an expensive spice I will never use again is usually the first black mark against any cooking adventure. The visual nature of Seuss’ presentation seems to be key to most of these dishes. The bookmakers opted to construct imperfect, brightly colored plates in the style of Seuss, but that’s not the kind of dish that lives in my cabinet. Garish plastic cups and plates will probably suffice.

Drinks are where it’s at with this cookbook. They’re innovative and easy to whip up. Club soda mixes with any juice for a quick foaming treat that doesn’t have to be filthy with delicious sugar. The most complex and funnest (Yeah, I said funnest. Seuss approves.) to look at is the Pink Yink Ink Drink. A dark blackberry mulch sits at the bottom of the glass. A frothy light-pink strawberry/honey-milk mixture is poured on top for an awesome, two-tone beverage.

As for the fabled egg-ham dish, Brennan cheats with guacamole-covered fried eggs and cilantro-coated ham, a gourmet (and probably tastier) version of the dye job I consumed so many years ago. Still, you’d be hard pressed to convince me hers is better.

Tasteful Reads

Tasteful Reads

Tasteful Reads

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