The Gingerbread Patriots On Fish Sticks

Jessica Cassyle Carr
2 min read
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Where do the Gingerbread Patriots stand on the fish stick issue?

John–I guess I wasn’t aware that there was an “issue” so I haven’t had time to form an opinion.

Megan–They would be nothing more than mush if stood on.

Jeshua–In the kitchen usually. Then I mash them between my toes and gum them with my mouth.

Ed–Cod only.

What are the pros and cons of fish in stick form?

John–Pros: When it looks like a stick it’s easier to eat, I guess. Cons: “Fish sticks.”

Megan–Great for meals on the run.

Ed–Pro: Cod eat it while driving. Con: Cod-n’t really make a meal of them. (Those were puns.)

What do people need to know about fish sticks?

John–The facts. Like don’t think that sucking on a half-thawed fish stick for nourishment is a good idea. No matter how tasty fishsicles sound, it will cause you nothing but pain.

Megan–They make their presence known … for at least a day or two.

Jeshua–People need to know just to be careful. They will coldcock you. They’ll getcha goin’ one way and then bam.

Ed–They are fish in the shape of sticks, not sticks stolen from fish.

How do fish sticks relate to your lives on a macro level?

John–Just knowing that space-age food in a stick form is already here reassures us that this world is aimed at great things. This fish stick-induced optimism lubricates the machine that is Gingerbread Patriots.

Ed–I feel that fish sticks give me perspective: Nobody has ever taken me from my home, shaped my flesh rectangular-like, fried me up and made a delicious microwavable treat of me … sometimes I take that for granted.

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